I recently finished reading the pre-work essays for my newest yoga teacher training. Now that we’re underway, I have a confession to make: I didn’t want to start this training.
Having second thoughts at the beginning of a new class isn’t unusual for me. Leading this program is a ton of work and responsibility. Every time I choose to begin, I commit to a year of being present both physically and emotionally to support the hearts, dreams, and aspirations of seedling yoga teachers.
As most people know, my husband’s and my life may change significantly in the coming year, which has caused us to rethink where we will live. And even if we stay in Seattle, I’m likely to spend more time writing my thoughts than saying them out loud.
None of that was the real problem, though. My biggest obstacle to bonding with this group was my attachment to the class that preceded them. I love all of my students, but my last advanced class was special. We’d been together for over two years, and they had cemented themselves permanently in my heart. I said goodbye to them at a retreat that felt deep, profound, and transformational. The perfect finish to my yoga teaching training career. I was complete.
And I was scheduled to start another class in less than a month.
I had no choice, at least not one I could live with. Some of the students in my new group had been waiting for this program for over two years. All had reorganized their lives to accommodate eleven months of training. When I accepted them into the training, I made a promise. And when I promise something, I always deliver.
Today I realized why. After reading about the life experiences of these thirty-two yogis, I can say that I’m touched. They have arrived at my doorstep via pathways paved with challenges. They’ve endured traumas: divorce, death, illness, addiction. They found respite in yoga, and they know that yoga is about more than stretching your hamstrings. Yoga is about finding clarity, entering life’s battlefields without flinching, and making it to the other side whole.
I don’t know why I’ve been so blessed. Lord knows I’m not always the most yogic yoga teacher. When it comes to teaching yoga, I have reasonable talent, but I’m certainly no rock star. There’s very little I offer that others couldn’t do as well or better. Yet for some reason, the universe has gifted me with many wonderful students to help guide my journey, all while I pretend to guide theirs.
As for this new crop of students, I can say one thing with certainty: I’m falling in love all over again.
Thank you for sharing the next year with me.
Come visit Whole Life Yoga in Seattle, and check out Tracy Weber’s author page for information about the Downward Dog Mysteries series. A KILLER RETREAT and MURDER STRIKES A POSE are available at book sellers everywhere!