I’m pretty open about what happens to me in life. Some of my friends and students use words like “gutsy” and “courageous” to describe me. Detractors sometimes refer to me as “overly self-revelatory.” Regardless, after 50 years on planet earth, I’m unlikely to change. I always warn my teacher training students that when they choose me as a teacher, they get what they see. Readers, I guess the same is true for you. I’ve always felt that the best yoga teachers are those who use The Yoga Sutras to learn about themselves.
I had a stressful week last week. My husband learned that his job will be moving to Oklahoma next year. We will not be going with it, so after 30 years with the same company, our primary bread winner will likely embarking on a new career, and we will shortly thereafter be looking for a new home. We are both committed to staying in Seattle at least until 2016 when I will finish my next 200-hour yoga teacher training and release my third book. After that? It’s one of our current life unknowns.
We learned that on Monday.
On Tuesday my doctor e-mailed me the results of some routine blood work.
It wasn’t good. Well, that’s an exaggeration. Most of it was, indeed, very good. There were some hints that I need to eat more veggies (smoothies, anyone?) and I definitely need to take more vitamin D. None of this was news to me. One number, however, was oddly high.
I called the doctor’s office and they said we should re-do the test in case I was dehydrated. In the meantime, hubby and I independently did what you should never do: we Googled it. According to the Internet, if that number went up much higher, I would be at risk for sudden heart failure. Husband sent me a scary article and we talked about him learning CPR.
To make a long story short, I was terrified, and my doctor was less than helpful. Friday, I received the results of the re-test. The original number was a lab error.
I’d love to say that this week gave me some great insight on life, or that it has inspired a new story that will soon top the best-seller lists. I’d even love to say that I handled the situation with the aplomb and equanimity you’d expect from a yoga teacher. In the end, I can only say that those were three days of my life that I’ll never get back.
Why do I write about this?
I guess to say that my yoga knowledge did actually help me last week. I’m surprisingly calm about Marc’s job situation. The teachings promise that there are several life paths we can take, all of which are a source for our learning. I’m confident that Marc and I will end up in the right place, even if it’s a challenging one.
And in the midst of my health-related panic, I remembered that according to yoga, the mind is riddled with error. Most of what we worry about never actually happens. That was my mantra. It helped, at least a little. The teachings also say that fear of death is a source of suffering for even the wisest sage.
No one said yoga was magic.
Finally, even yoga teachers have flaws. This particular one has too many to count. If I were truly in samadhi, I wouldn’t be attached to this body, this life, this city, this house. I’m rather fond of all of them. Life offers us many challenges, and as my husband says, the future is always an unknown. The yoga teachings provide hope.
Namaste
Tracy Weber
Come visit Whole Life Yoga in Seattle, and check out Tracy Weber’s author page for information about the Downward Dog Mysteries series. A KILLER RETREAT is available for preorder now from Whole Life Yoga. MURDER STRIKES A POSE is available at Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and book sellers everywhere!
